To all the girls who don’t tan

And why our lives are full of #palegirlproblems

You’re the skin type that means you’re LATHERING on the factor 50 as soon as you step off the plane on holiday. Photos of you with the flash on cause your nose to disappear and make you look like Voldemort. People constantly ask you if you’re ill. You need sunglasses to look at your legs in the sunlight. Well, GIRL SAME.

Me in Costa Rica vs my friend, who is in fairness Brazilian but still

Thanks to my father for my northern heritage, I’m whiter than white. If you go into the White Company with me, I would 100% get lost and you’d only be able to find me by looking for a floating pair of black jeans.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but being pale does pose some problems, amirite?

  1. Foundation that matches your skin tone? Is that a thing?
    That feeling when 001 Porcelain is still too dark for your face.
  2. Tan? From sunlight??
    I only know burn???
  3. Factor 50 for life
    I don’t care if it’s all the same after 30, I will have 50 or I will lobster.
  4. “Can we sit in the shade?”
  5. Navigating the world of fake tan without a map.
    Can someone please make a guide for tanning for pale skin? Please??
  6. Exfoliating and moisturising your arms and legs to get rid of your chicken skin/pesky Celtic heritage
  7. Photo with flash? It’s okay I didn’t like my nose anyway
  8. Forgetting how pale you are until you see a photo of you with your friends. Wow.
  9. *Doesn’t wear make up* “Oh hey wow, are you okay?? You look really ill”
  10. Freckles. Everywhere. (Although they’re in fashion right now, yay for small victories)

Well, I’m here to say ENOUGH. I am done with £5 fake than that melts off as soon as you spend more than 5 minutes in Spain. NO MORE!!

Is that a tan?? Wrong, look at my wrist for melted mess thank u L’Oreal

I’m here to challenge all my pale sisters this summer to WORK their natural shade. Like, don’t even reach for the St Tropez and that tanning mitt. You just whip out that short skirt and own those white pegs with confidence. Channel your inner Sansa Stark.

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#SupportGroupTime who else is laden with Pale Girl Problems? Like factor 50 only, don't take a photo with the flash problems? Well, girl same. So let's support each other | Maps of Pangea
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Liz Wilson

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